This post has been on the tip of my tongue, so to speak, for at least a couple of weeks now. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to say about it, but I've given it enough thought for me to say something, so I'm giving it my best try.
During the months of January and February, Dave and I were in a Sunday School class called Running the Rapids. It's a series by Dr. Kevin Leman about guiding teenagers through the rough waters of adolescence. If you have never heard any of his teachings ~ you need to! He talks about really serious stuff, but in a very warm-hearted and funny, yet no nonsense type of way.
I have to say that while I've never dreaded the teenage years of our girls, it is a little intimidating to think ahead to a time when we will have three teenage (or at least almost teen) chickadees in our nest, all at the same time. I think Dave has actually given this more thought than I have. When I was pregnant with Rebekah, a similar series {I think it was about effective communication with teenage children} was offered at church, and he wanted to go to it, while I insisted on a different class. I remember looking down at my big belly and thinking, Seriously? We have a six year old, a three year old, and this tummy, and you want to think about them being teenagers? Well the time has passed very quickly since then, and while we still have a few more years, it's certainly on the horizon more now than it was back then.
Dr. Leman's series likens the journey through adolescence to a whitewater rafting trip through turbulent waters. Waters in which our girls will make some of the most important decisions, the consequences of which will follow them through the rest of their lives. He encourages parents to learn how to be an effective guide during challenging times. I couldn't possibly describe the entire series in one sitting, and even if I could, I'm not sure that my synopsis would do it any justice.
Basically, I really appreciated the rafting guide analogy, and it made me think so much about my role in helping the girls grow into the people God created them to be. Have you ever been on a white water rafting trip? I have only been once, and it was in a very controlled environment where the risk of injury was quite small (even if I doubted that during the experience!) Let me tell you though, the guide sits at the back of the raft, not prominently in front, which is kind of where I was hoping our guide would situate himself {I wanted him bear the brunt of any rough waters we encountered}. But we were the ones who had to sit in the front and navigate, just like our girls will have to learn to navigate through difficult situations one day. When we were being tossed around, I can't emphasize enough how reassuring it was to hear calm instructions coming from the back of the raft. I hope that I can be that trusted voice of reason for the girls when they need it the most.
I love feeling like I am teaching the girls stuff. So at the beginning of the series, my first thought was that being a proper guide was simply a continuation of this teaching. Great, I can handle that :-)! However, teaching implies that I have some kind of control over the outcome. We are already experiencing with Alyssa the fact that as our little ones get older, the control we once had shifts much more to influence. Lord, let us be good stewards of this influence!
Implicit in guiding someone, is the idea that the path or destination is ordained already. Not by us of course, but rather that God has a plan for them. One that we must trust, and more importantly, one that the girls must trust. I will never have the complete control to keep them in the raft by my own strength, and I can't pretend that it's my job to try to do so.
Quite possibly the scariest thing I experienced during our rafting trip was that when we fell out of the raft, I immediately did the opposite of what we had been taught in our training session, only a half hour earlier. I tried swimming and fighting the rushing class 4 waters, instead of letting the water carry me to an eddy {a safe area of calmer water}. How quick are we to do that in everyday life? And why do our instincts often fail us like that? Because we are forgetful people, that's why. We forget the price that has been paid for our salvation, and because of this we act like we can or should do things on our own, in our own way. We'd rather swim against a current that slams us into rocks and pushes us so far under we can't even see the surface, than turn to the One who can calm the rapids and steady the raft.
I've pretty much taken the long way around saying that I hope can always be the kind of guide who leads the girls to their true source of strength, confidence, and hope. Lord, thank you for each teachable moment we have with the girls. In all that we do, help us point back to you as our ultimate guide. May the girls find joy and assurance in you alone.
1 comment:
What an excellent post and reminder for all of us raising children. I've been wanting to take some classes like this one, and do some reading about this very topic. It's so hard for me because I tend to be a control freak... my instincts want to put myself in the front of my kids' raft because I know I'm stronger and have the ability to protect them more then they can protect themselves. But that in no way allows them to learn and grow so that one day they are indeed just as capable. It's so hard as a parent to watch your child approach roaring, dangerous waters knowing very well that they could fall into them. (especially when we could prevent the fall from ever happening). But the truth is, sometimes we NEED to fall. We need to learn that we are nothing without God, but that we CAN do all things through Him who strengthens us.
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